What a week!
As I write this I am sitting in my condo in Crested Butte, enjoying this view, with a fire in the fireplace and a crisp 49 degrees outside. It's hard to believe that I was doing this exact thing one week ago and all that has happened in the days in between!
A lot of it is a blur for me but some details have stuck with me and hearing the experience (and fear) of those around me has helped me to understand the seriousness of what happened. I have learned that "Septic Shock" is nothing to mess around with and that with all the problems of the healthcare system, I am immensely grateful for the individuals within that system who use their skills to save lives, including mine! Our healthcare system may not focus enough on prevention or whole body health and healing, but when it comes to an emergency, there's no place I'd rather be. One of the vivid memories I have is of the emergency room attending doctor standing in the middle of the room, orchestrating a team of probably 20 residents, interns, med students, nurses, etc., giving instructions, stepping in when needed, telling me what was happening, and exuding a confidence that gave me the sense of "he's got this". That's a big deal in a very scary situation.
If I'm honest I will admit that I am dealing with a bit of discouragement, mixed in with the relief of being alive! Three months after my mastectomy surgery and a lot of pain and progress in between, I feel like I am back at square one - maybe even negative one or two! The implant that was removed can not be replaced for at least three months if at all. And then it's not as simple as just putting in a new one. The skin will have shrunk, the pocket will have scarred over, and it will take months of work and multiple surgeries to reconstruct. Always with the threat of another infection looming in the background. For now, I will just focus on the next step and make each decision about moving forward as it comes. Of course, at some point, the decision may be "Enough!", but right now I am hopeful in what's next.
There is no way to adequately express my appreciation for all of the love, support, texts, calls, comments on these posts, etc. that have come my way. As much as I have received directly, I'm beginning to hear about the vast network of thoughts and prayers that have come my way through my husband, my sons, my sister, my mom, my aunt, my colleagues, my friends. Prayer chains that were started that I didn't even know about. Offers of help or declarations of "I'm on my way" that are often surprising though very much appreciated. Our extended community is incredible and I am thankful for every one of you. Hopefully you won't get another update for a bit as I will just be recuperating and healing over the coming weeks. If anything interesting happens, we'll be sure to let you know. I'm hoping for boring :-)